[ BRING DOWN YOUR LAST DEFENSE. ] - cambria

[cayden skylar]

BRING DOWN YOUR LAST DEFENSE
FEEL YOUR INNOCENCE SLIP INTO THE NIGHT BABY HOLD ON TIGHT

Cayden dangled her legs off the tree limb she was currently sitting on, halfway up a large, sprawling oak tree. The foliage was still brightly green around her, despite the sharp breeze whipping through the air. Clad in a warm red flannel shirt underneath , dark wash skinny jeans and knee-high brown boots, the girl was almost impervious to the cold air. Her hair was down in loose curls about her face -- she’d been running so late that morning before class that she hadn’t had time to straighten the locks. It was useless now, with the day practically over. At least the important bits anyway. It was almost time for dinner, probably only an hour or so before everyone would start making their way towards the great hall. Classes were over, the students had dispersed into their separate corners to do whatever it was they did after classes each day. Usually, Cayden might have holed up in the dormitory with her guitar or have hung out with Cam and Rian. Today, however, after she’d been released from her last class, she hadn’t been in the mood to be around people. She needed to be alone, needed peace and quiet. Her spirit felt too restless to go through the motions of normalcy today.

So she’d retreated to the tree. The same tree she’d used as a refuge since her very first year. She’d even come to think of it as her tree. It was located at the back side of the lower gardens, it’s branches reaching far out and low the ground. It almost seemed as if the tree had grown them to be a series of steps up to the top, such was the ease of the climb to her current position. Still quite full of leaves, it was difficult to spot her sitting there, even in her red flannel. That was the point. As social a creature that she was, Cayden just wanted to be by herself for a bit. It was a kind of chafing irritation she’d felt increasingly since on night late in June. She’d learned since then that when that particular feeling came on she couldn’t hide it or make it go away. It seemed like the best solution to hide away from others until it ran it’s course. She absolutely hated feeling so out of control of herself and her actions, but what could she do about it? Cayden knew what the source of it was, knew with a certainty that it was her fault she was feeling this way. It was hers and it was his.

It had been weeks since it had happened, but she still hadn’t been able to open up to anybody about it. To be honest, until recently, there hadn’t been anybody she thought who could understand. To listen without judgment. Her parents, and Uncle Jack, would only blow it out of proportion. Her stepmother and the evils would so not understand and would probably only ridicule her for it. Not to mention Cayden was embarrassed that she’d let it happen, that she hadn’t seen it for what he was. But Pete had been so charming, so nice. She’d genuinely thought that he had genuine feelings for him. Hers for him had certainly felt real enough. How could they not be reciprocated? Pete had seemed caring, always looking out for her. Cayden hadn’t been able to see anything bad behind his sparking blue eyes and disarming smile. God, she felt like an idiot. How naïve she had been, how utterly stupid. Squeezing her eyes shut now, she could still his face. It was permanently etched into her memory. That look of complete innocence, of longing, of emotion. That look had been what had drawn her in more than anything else.

Memories resurfaced, as she sat there in the tree. The persuasive tone to his smooth voice as he angled for her agreement. The smell of him -- that clean, soapy smell mingling with the cologne he’d worn. The sensations as he’d gently pressed his fingertips to her neck. With a throbbing pain in her chest, Cayden’s eyes shot open. She wasn’t surprised to find, when she pressed her hands to her hot face, that her cheeks were wet with her tears. No, it wasn’t surprising that she’d been crying. She cried a lot these days. Burying her face in her arms, propped up on her bended knees, Cayden groaned. Why couldn’t she forget him? Just toss him aside, as he had so easily done to her afterward. After he’d gotten what he’d wanted. Then again, he’d simply been playing a game with her while she, she had been emotionally involved. It had been the first time she’d put her trust in someone other than her family and she had chosen the wrong person to give it to. The result being the bruises covering her heart and the feeling of being burned beyond repair.

[cambria larue]

TEARS ARE FORMING IN YOUR EYES
a storm is warning in the sky

Cambria LaRue was already out of her school robes. The things were such a pain. She truly did hate them. Plain old boring black. Gag. Sure, they looked nice and uniform (that was generally the point of a uniform, wasn't it?) but still. Black was just...meh. She didn't like the color much. Sure, it was good for high heels and little black dresses that made a girl look all tiny and sexy, but they looked better if they had bright pink or yellow or something to keep them from being blah. So she was already in a pullover hoodie of her favorite color: yellow. And a pair of jeans, against the chill. Her hands were slid inside the sleeves, so as (hopefully) not to freeze off. Cambria wasn't a huge fan of the cold. But whatever. Her blond hair was pulled up in a preppy little ponytail. It had been something simple. She hadn't felt like messing with her hair much this morning. So she had just put it up.

The short girl made her way out to the grounds, through the doors of the Entrance Hall. She was in search of her best friend, Cayden, who had disappeared after their last class. Cayden and Cambria had pretty much been best friends since first year, when they had met on the train. Everything about them meshed perfectly. Even their names went together. Cayden and Cambria. It was like they were meant to be, or something. Cayden's slightly quieter personality offset Cambria's loudness, and she was up for anything Cambria threw at her, which was hard to find. Cayden was the one Cambria went to when she was stressing about her whole family situation, as her parents and brother didn't exactly get along. Of course, it was rants she couldn't really give to Rian, because, well, he was part of the problem. It was hard for her to be stuck in the middle of the whole mess, because she could see exactly where Rian was coming from, and of course, she was on his side. But she could also see exactly where her parents were coming from, too, and they had some points, even if she didn't think they were completely right. Basically, she thought both sides had things they needed to change, but she wasn't entirely sure how to tell Rian this without making it look like she was siding with their parents. Nor did she feel it was her place to tell her parents that they needed to change. Thus, she got stuck in the middle and it tended to frustrate her to the extreme. Especially since both parties wanted her on their side. And so Cayden got to hear about the whole mess pretty frequently, and Cam knew she did the best she could to help her friend out.

Now Cambria was pretty sure it was her turn to reciprocate. Her friend had seemed a little bit different ever since they had met on the train, just not quite herself. Cambria wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, so she hadn't pushed the issue, just tried to act like everything was fine. She knew Cayden would tell her when she was ready. Well, Cam hoped she would, anyway. She pretty much spilled her guts to Cayden on a daily basis, so she hoped that Cayden felt she could do the same. Still, Bri also understood that her best friend dealt with things differently than she herself did. Bri's style was to rant and rave and scream and cry her heart out and then sit down and figure out how to fix it. Cay had always been more of a suffer in silence type, but Cambria was starting to wonder if maybe silence wasn't the best approach to this one.

So she was off to find her best friend. She had already combed the castle, looking through most of Cayden's usual haunts, and hadn't found the girl in any of them. Cambria was pretty convinced that you would have to be bloody crazy to be out in this mess, but her friend could be sometimes. They both could be, and Cambria just wasn't sure what Cay would do anymore. In some ways, she felt as if she hardly knew her best friend. She hadn't the slightest clue what had happened over the summer that would throw her friend for such a loop, but she was pretty much determined to find out, now. It wasn't unusual for Cayden to go off by herself, Cambria mused to herself, as she tromped out to the lake, shivering miserably with the cold. But she just wasn't sure that this was the normal sort of going off by herself.

She heaved a sigh when Cayden proved to not be anywhere near the lake, or the big tree that stood nearby, where they often went to plot and scheme. She also found no traces of her near the Quidditch pitch, or the caretakers cabin. Of course Cay would be in the last place I look, Cambria thought dismally to herself, suddenly wondering if maybe she shouldn't seek her friend out just yet. The cold had made her cranky, and she wasn't sure she could manage to be sympathetic when she was feeling so bitchy. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

However, that thought crossed her head for maybe 2 seconds and she was off to the flower gardens, bad mood already forgotten as she was pretty sure she knew where Cayden was. She wasn't entirely sure why she hadn't checked here first. This was usually where Cay went to be by herself. Cambria marched with purpose to the lower gardens, glanced around, and then looked up. Aha. She could just see the small patch of red that she recognized as Cayden's flannel shirt. With a final shiver, she grabbed the closest stable-looking branch and started making her way up the tree. She wasn't as good as Cayden at climbing the thing, but she did decently. She paused about half way up when she caught sight of how her friend was sitting, with her face buried against her knees, possibly crying. She found herself having second thoughts and wondering if she mightn't be better off to just let her friend work it out on her own. But no, she thought resolutely. She was determined to figure out what was going on with her friend. It was eating her up inside. It simply wasn't healthy.

She finished the last few feet, until she was on the same branch as her friend. She paused for a moment, then shifted herself closer, glancing down at the ground and swallowing. It was a rather long way down. Pulling her blue gaze from the distant green grass below, she instead looked at her friend. "Hey, Baby" she said softly, slipping an arm around her friend's shoulders and gently tugging the girl closer to her. She didn't speak after that, just sat, waiting. She knew now wasn't really the time to go demanding answers. She figured she was better off to just be patient, wait her friend out, give her a minute. So she just waited.

the outfit

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[cayden skylar]

BRING DOWN YOUR LAST DEFENSE
FEEL YOUR INNOCENCE SLIP INTO THE NIGHT BABY HOLD ON TIGHT

Cayden wasn't much of a crier, per se. She didn't buy into the whole wracking sobs and snot running down your face kind of deep-soul crying. Yet, when she felt her friend's arm slip around her shoulder, Cayden couldn't hold it back any more. It was like flood gates opening -- or a tidal wave finally breaking on the shore after days and days of swelling on the open sea. That one, seemingly insignificant gesture appeared as the catalyst for all the crap she'd kept bottled up inside her for the last weeks. When all Cayden wanted to close the cap and store that bottle away on a shelf for a little while longer, it was almost as if someone had jarred the bottle from her hand and all the contents inside it came spilling out willy-nilly, all over anybody within close range. When all that was left were choked sniffles, she finally raised her head -- at least enough to rub the backs of her hands over her face to dry them.

Her eyes felt hot and puffy, she knew her nose must be as red as a cherry by the way it felt sitting in the middle of her face. It probably didn't help that she was flushing a deep scarlet, embarrassed as she was to be caught in such a vulnerable position. Cayden wasn't exactly known to be a paragon of sensitivity, even with her close friends. It was out of character for her to even tear up, let alone have a full-out crying session when there was anybody around to witness it. Cayden groaned to herself, knowing Bri's insatiable curiosity wouldn't be put off for much longer. She knew her friend was probably already teeming with questions but had held back for Cayden's sake. She felt a wave of affection for her friend just then. Cambria was probably the best friend she'd ever had. How could she have ever thought to keep such a secret from her? And then a sense of trepidation halted her breath at the thought of explaining what had happened over the summer.

Could she handle going through it all again? Would she be able to keep it together while she probed the bruises on her heart and soul? Most of all, could she take the judgment she would most certainly see in her friend eyes? The pity, even? Cayden was suddenly terrified that Bri might think so much less of her to affect their friendship to the point that it could no longer be. Tears choked her throat and threatened to spill over once more. Turning her face away, she squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm sorry," she mumbled in an almost half-whisper. She couldn't think of anything else to say, really. There was an urge to move away, to deny herself the comfort of a friend as a sort of penance but she wasn't strong enough. So, feeling utterly miserable, she sat there, silent and sniffling.

ooc: sorry it's suckish >.<